What Indians Need to Chill About

Mentality is one thing that does not depend on class or gender. So many people in this country lack good parenting. And one of the trending troubles caused by lack of parenting is lack of sex education. Molestation, rapes, cyber harassment, sexual abusing, one gender blaming the other etc. All of this wouldn’t exist if we started right. Well, better late than never.

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Most women are still afraid to talk about sex. They restrict themselves from talking about mere  issues related to their bodies, periods, or even sanitary napkins in front of the men. Even when someone else talks about  sex  in front of them, they get timid and hesitant and develop all wrong assumptions about the other person. So many here are yet to understand sex is a basic necessity of life. I repeat, basic.
Whereas so many men still sexualize every part of a woman’s body regardless it being uncovered or covered. Every body has their hormones flowing, it just takes a little intelligence and chivalry to not be perverts and still have healthy relationships that can  get you laid *winks*.

Here are a few among the many things we need to chill about :

  • Human body :It’s not abnormal that every woman has a pair of breasts that feeds a new born baby, without which all of us would have starved to death before seeing the world. Neither is it anomalous that every man has a penis that is used for mating so that me, you and all the lame ass people could come into existence and then sexualize human body parts and organs and turn all such things into a taboo. This is mere biology.giphy
  • Fantasies / hormonal changes : All of our bodies and minds go trough changes. Even the geekiest person someday craves an intercourse. It’s more than natural to find yourself physically attracted to any person but what is most important here is “Consent“. Forcing your fantasies on somebody without knowing about their desires, if they see you that way or not, is nothing less than criminal.  Nobody minds a genuine compliment on their body or physique till you don’t sound like a creep. And I assure you, there are  ways to do that. Just as i said, a little intelligence and chivalry can take you a long way.

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  • Porn :  Porn helps stress relieving, decreases sex crimes, it is the first step for queer people to identify their sexuality. But above all, it just feels awesome. Now, what people need to realize is Pornography has its own industry worth $97 Billion, its just like Bollywood or Hollywood with highly paid actors. Intercourse in real life is far different from what they show in those videos. You cannot get insecure about your own body without knowing porn actors use makeup even in those areas and there are hardly any women without stretch marks. This is exactly why you should stop taking porn so seriously. Porn is just like any other movie you watched the last day. It is only for times when one is feeling lascivious and does not necessarily involve in real life.

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  • Intercourse/ mating/ love making : You may call it whatever you want, what we all know is, it is the best thing.  Having sex is as natural to our survival as eating is. The part of the brain called the amygdala (part of the limbic system) that controls basic drives, such as sex and hunger -activates, causing us to want sex.  It is considered a bonding tool. That is why when two people are in love, it is the best feeling to have an intercourse.

However, it is completely an individuals personal choice whether they want to have it early or late; who they want to have it with; how many times they want to have it. If you don’t like the concept of it then don’t have it but don’t judge or slut shame anybody for their choices or even bully someone for not having it.

Funniest are those who think not having it is keeping them pure and the rest impure you’re the real idiots or do I say ‘pure idiots’. Well, Sex is not a taboo especially in this country where  Kamasutra by Vātsyāyana was written in 400 BCE- 200 CE. Hell, we are supposed to be the sex Gods and Goddesses! But people just have to turn all the best things into taboo.

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Had these things been talked about, taught and discussed openly among people and to children by their elders themselves, they would have been so much clear about topics such as consent. So many could have possibly saved themselves from child abuse So many of them would have known the correct use of cyber platforms. So many less women and man would have been harassed in this country.  So many women could’ve been saved from their intimate pictures being posted online as revenge. Time may pass away but  remains of such instances stay and haunt people for the rest of their lives. High time, to take a step, from the root.
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A simple man’s dilemma.

It’s about this day when I saw a short movie that got me nostalgic about a few stages me and many of you have crossed. When you think about it now, it’s  just funny.

 Let’s take a moment to remember that one time, or the first time that  you dared to enter a high end place to learn how it all works, after signing a mental agreement that you cannot back off and run till the work is done, cause that again would be sheer embarrassment. Haha!

 

This dilemma is well known by people that have shifted from towns to cities, just like me, 4 years back. I feel you!

With  your monkey mind giving you lame signals about how everybody around is judging you, you want to run back to the comfort zone outside. You  get clumsy.                                          First you’re angry at yourself for deciding to enter there, secondly you’re angry at the people around, they all start to seem cruel inside your mind for being so content at minding their own business. You try to speak as less as possible and get out as soon as the work is done. You know you don’t fit in.

It’s funny. Funny how fitting in can be that a big deal, in our mind.

All inside our mind.

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It’s Natural (LGBT)

 

Apparently, in Jalandhar, Punjab, a lady cop has married the love of her life who is also a woman. Isn’t it great? But, just when you thought good days are on it’s way and people have started accepting that marriage is about love and not about gender,

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there’s always people who  have stuff to say.
Some claim it’s a mental disorder, some said God would hate this, whereas according to some homosexuality is a product of the futile modernity.
For your knowledge, homosexuality hasn’t just evolved out of nowhere, it has always existed. Being a movie buff, I’ve seen really old gay movies from much much before our birth which were supposed to educate us but all of them have gone through rubbish controversies to even get on the big screens. They tried to educate us with amazing movies like ‘Different from the others'(1999), ‘Madchen in uniform'(1931) etc. and as for Indian movies, ‘Fire'(1996) and ‘Bomgay'(1996) etc.

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Interestingly, even if you go back to the mythological days, in Indian epics and chronicles, there are references to same-sex intercourse. For example, in the Valmiki Ramayana, Hanuman is said to have seen Rakshasa women kissing and embracing women who have been embraced by Ravana. In the Padma Purana is the story of a king who dies before he can give his two queens the magic potion that will make them pregnant. Desperate to bear his child, the widows drink the potion, make love to each other (one behaving as a man, the other as a woman) and conceive a child. Also, temples made in ancient times in India still have sculptures of same sex love and intercourse.
Another misconception is that there’s more number of gay in Fashion industry. Truth is that, they’re everywhere, its natural, just that particular industry is more acceptable. Creative people have a comparatively broader mind.
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Do you even think of how wrong it is that transgenders aren’t allowed regular education, govt. jobs etc. Not allowed to dressup, talk, behave, love, the way they want. Aren’t we contributing to a sin by depriving them of this. If you believe in God, you must believe in sins as well.
I urge you to run your minds before blindly believing anything that’s told to you. 🙇
#LGBT #support

What’s Just?

Have you ever wondered why  this subject called Moral Science was taught to us merely up till junior high while the humanity needed it all throughout, much prior to the need of maths, history and them all?

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Have you ever known that a certain thing was wrong, but couldn’t help because it wasn’t in your hands and felt so guilty but helpless?

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For an instance, when I see my neighboring family’s parenting by a father that comes home drunk screaming at his spouse in front of 10 and 15 year old minds that still believe in Santa Clause and the magical world, hitting them later in the name of parenting and constantly reminding the kid about how he is chubby and ugly, any educated person would feel like dragging that man to the jail. But am I capable of that?  In a country where the people try to keep as far a distance from the law as possible? Where the public is terrified at seeing a cop approach them rather than feeling safe?

Today the little ones get disgusted with themselves even before the tooth fairies steal from under their pillows, at being bullied, discriminated, laughed at, because of their appearance or color or so. Even before anything, these kids learn what biasness or favoritism is. They know they need to have brands. They know they need to be the best. Do you think that is right?

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In a country where rapes have become so common that we have a separate name for the capital of the country i.e also known a Rape Capital.So common that we no longer talk about it, because enough discussed, enough mourning done, enough marches held, its a common now. Reportedly one case every fifteen minutes. Happens with everybody. Let’s just hope it doesn’t happen to us, and if it does, we’ll just do the mourning once more.

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After all that,  my relatives suggest me on how not to dress up provokingly. Well, they are the same people whom never have I heard giving any such suggestions to my brother. But will I say anything? Answering back the elders is against our culture, they said.

There is no ending to this topic if elaborated. In a country where the person buying a packet of gutka at a stall complains about how the government has done nothing for the untidy footpath, right at the next moment red-spits on from his running vehicle in between the road. Can you do anythi…Oh wait, I do, I stop that person and tell him not to do it again.

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I agree, we can’t do what is out of our capacity. But we can surely do what is in our capacity. We couldn’t change that bad parent, nosy relative, corrupt government officials or the bully. But what we can do is, not be them ourselves.

The problem is, we are busy being judges and critics while we need to grow into being appreciators and supporters. While we are busy teaching, lets take some time out to learn, to listen and to accept.

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Love, Respect and Humanity above all.

You Think You Are Helping?

Despite India’s rapid development, poverty and begging still continue to be one of the biggest issues. One of the main reason being income inequality. A statistic may indicate that 70% of country’s income is controlled by 20% of that country’s residents.

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It is nice to see today’s youth very fond of helping the poor. I agree, feeding them a meal or donating a pair of clothes make them happy. But aren’t you just helping them with not having to work for earning a meal? The little beggar kid you fed last day because he was small and cute, what about when he’s all grown up and not cute anymore? Will he be done with his ever-since-childhood habit of begging that he’s mastered by now? Will he stop expecting from you?

Sadly, there is often more than meets the eye about begging in India. While the poverty is real, begging is quite often carried out in gangs. Beggars have also been known to deliberately hurt and disfigure themselves to get more money. For the privilege of begging in a certain territory, each beggar must hand over their takings to the gang’s ring leader, who keeps a significant share of it.

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You will find women moving around with sleeping babies wrapped in pallu  and hand them some amount in pity without the slightest idea that the infant is asleep cause the little amount of alcohol fed to him so that they either sleep and not disturb them while they perform their act or get some temperature; works better.  It might sound harsh, but the fact is that its usually best to ignore beggars in India.

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Lets get to the root cause. Unwillingness to work, mismanagement of money, increase in population etc. are a few reasons behind poverty which are totally curable. The cure being Education, Academic education, Sex education and Moral education.

So next time you want to help a beggar, just ignore them. There’s no need to look good in front of the society. That’s not called helping. If you know one such person who needs help and you are actually willing to, contact various NGO’s in the city to give them a better life, get them small jobs, or educate them. Otherwise, just ignore. That’ll be more of a help. This doesn’t apply for the eunuches since its our Government and Society that hasn’t accepted the sexuality yet.

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Few NGO’s in Guwahati, Assam; http://www.indiamaps.in/ngo-of-assam/guwahati/
http://www.guwahationline.in/city-guide/social-welfare-services-in-guwahati